I've learned that using different ideas in my writing, as well as using sequencing words that I used, and not to over detail my work too much. I feel proud about adding detail such as seeing, smell, hear, and feelings.
Hi Kiriana, what I really enjoyed reading here is your hook with direct speech and the detail you added to your main event - the blood nose. I can tell your dad was surprised and caring. There are a few things you talked to me about adding that I see you have not. Do you remember telling me the smell of blood? Also, you forgot to finish with a reflection (your thoughts about the even). A big well done for your punctuation! Every sentence beginning and ending!
Hi Kiriana, what I really enjoyed reading here is your hook with direct speech and the detail you added to your main event - the blood nose. I can tell your dad was surprised and caring. There are a few things you talked to me about adding that I see you have not. Do you remember telling me the smell of blood? Also, you forgot to finish with a reflection (your thoughts about the even). A big well done for your punctuation! Every sentence beginning and ending!
ReplyDeletethx wheae lana!!!!
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